The Idiot and the backstabber 3

Here we go again, another place another time, same fool same dagger in the back, but this time it’s a bit different when it comes from someone you’d high hopes for, as they say when it’s least expected, and they say a true believer don’t get bite from the same snake hole 2 times, let alone 3 times!!!

Treachery has no religion, and obviously knows no nationality, nor gender, and I truly quote Hugh Laurie when he said “everybody lies” and I say we only deny it when we want and believe it when it’s too late.

The few short coming lines – I hope – is yet another story about when I got stabbed in the back, apparently 3rd time is the charm, but how come it’s true in good and worse ?

Though I want to believe she only did what she did due to some extreme circumstances, otherwise I won’t accept frail excuse, I mean who would throw a 7 years old friendship into the dumpster unless something bad happen or she was threatened, there’s no excuse to simply do that not even having a boyfriend/girlfriend – generally speaking – but seems love conquers all even the solidest of friendships.

Though I doomed any romantic chances between us due to the distance between us, yet we weren’t that distant; thanks to modern technology, and I certainly didn’t put her under any pressure, nor I promised her anything, since we never talked about our feelings, this could have been a single-sided love story but am not sure if those feelings for her were love or something else.

Though I can’t find any possible explanation for all of this, and I was so desperate to find out why, but apparently my old motto is coming back to life “not everything we desire in life is accomplished, but winds bring what the ships don’t desire” and apparently am going to believe in this saying “ if you want something so bad, let it go and it will come flying to you” and maybe am not sure what I do believe in anymore, and I don’t know what am I doing or what do I want, or what’ve I done or where and when it all went wrong, I don’t know nothing at all anymore.

Though I decided to let her go, and I accepted her new reality, because otherwise would be selfish of me, but should her happiness be based on my misery? So she has a boyfriend, so what, though she told me her mom forced him on her, maybe it’s another boyfriend, maybe he is, and maybe love is blind, good for her, and if am not wrong, if she truly considered me her best friend and not tell me such news, knowing I won’t be anything but happy for her, is something beyond my reach so far.

Admittedly I need a lot of time to heal that wound, that time is different, it came close to the heart, the question here is what will I do to make it up for my stabbed dignity, what will I tell her if she came explaining, will I accept her apologizes, even if she came crawling, will I have the upper hand then, what shall I do? I really don’t know, and to end this, I really hope this is going to be the last time I get betrayed, though life isn’t all pinky and flourish, sure there are thorns in the way, but the real question here is this “till when should be I play the idiot with the dagger in its back, when will I learn?” hopefully soon….